What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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