she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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