Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
