I'm drive I can fine osifer
tell your sister to shave her snatch
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
