Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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