I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize