I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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