He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
