I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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