actually, I'm a sock model
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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