I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
