does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
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