Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize