I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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