Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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