youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
