I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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