i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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