dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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