Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He kissed a someone with a penis
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
