There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
