oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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