Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
