You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Don't make out with my wife yet
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
