im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize