ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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