It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
