There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
