this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
