So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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