ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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