I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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