i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.