He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize