I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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