how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
