See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
