Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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