I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
