I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
