after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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