I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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