Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
