You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
