Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
