So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
