McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
True strength comes from lack of pants
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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