all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
