mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Randomize
