I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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