four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He has the fingertips of a God
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