Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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