so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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