there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize