bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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