It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
