I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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