R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
