College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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