I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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