Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
im having a threesome with these popsicles
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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