Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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