so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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